The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
