chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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