i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
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The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
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When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.