I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
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You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
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I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????