Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me http://tfl.nu/ycl5
  Replies (2) Good night (632) Bad night (1475) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.

  (1-972): View more from Texas

  I want to be a cop.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party. (1-972): I want to be a cop. http://tfl.nu/ucz6
  Replies (104) Good night (23410) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place. http://tfl.nu/vbxd
  Replies (18) Good night (5799) Bad night (880) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.

  (1-650): View more from California

  did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet. (1-650): did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one? http://tfl.nu/1hzw
  Replies (24) Good night (8031) Bad night (831) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!" http://tfl.nu/qrwa
  Replies (44) Good night (8167) Bad night (1292) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): 1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey http://tfl.nu/ks1h
  Replies (3) Good night (3782) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go http://tfl.nu/6usw
  Replies (4) Good night (626) Bad night (1832) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore. http://tfl.nu/m8nz
  Replies (9) Good night (2763) Bad night (712) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete? http://tfl.nu/gioo
  Replies (8) Good night (2035) Bad night (653) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem http://tfl.nu/xr6o
  Replies (3) Good night (940) Bad night (504) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend? http://tfl.nu/gpxm
  Replies (3) Good night (705) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat. http://tfl.nu/w7x2
  Replies (8) Good night (994) Bad night (333) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT. http://tfl.nu/chrb
  Replies (5) Good night (294) Bad night (573) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others http://tfl.nu/5o0g
  Replies (3) Good night (980) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved. http://tfl.nu/qhmk
  Replies (5) Good night (691) Bad night (462) Order T-Shirt

Randomize