my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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