I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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