Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
