I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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