If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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