was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
