Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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