you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
True strength comes from lack of pants
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
