Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
