I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
