oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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