Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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