Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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