You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I won't apologize to a one balled man
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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