Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
