EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
