whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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