I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
