Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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