he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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