She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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