Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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