Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
