I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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