Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
