I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
