I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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