I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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