Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
she told me i tasted like america
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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