so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
