went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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