Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
