Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
