He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
