i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
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