I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
