You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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