I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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