its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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