thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
