Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
