So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
