two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
