I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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