I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
