people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
