i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
