Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
