you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize