Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
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No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
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I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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