Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
