Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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