What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
