Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
whose parrot is this?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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