OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
