i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
