Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
