His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
