i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
