I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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