Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
