Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
