i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You can't just leave with hair like that
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Randomize
